EMDR Self-Coaching with the Songs of our Lives
With this special form of EMDR self-coaching, we use all the songs that have touched us in a special way.
What actually happens to us (or, perhaps, in us) when we love a song, when it moves us emotionally?
Do you remember the songs you used to listen to when you were a teenager? Your favourite song from when you were in love for the first time? Do you remember which song accompanied you (through grief) when that first love ended?
During our youth we experience many emotional moments, both positive and negative. Many of them were stored in our body memory. Often, we have unconsciously connected those involved experiences with a song that we liked during that situation, and which reflected our mood: that song became an anchor for what happened then.
Somatic markers locate our emotional experiences in the body
Involving experiences leave emotional traces in us. So-called somatic markers locate such emotional events in our body memory, and let us experience these emotions from the past again when listening to an “anchored” song.
The experience must not have been negative. An extremely positive situation, which is accompanied by extraordinarily strong feelings, can also be remembered in this way.
However, as you have already read, our experiences from the past influence the judgements we make today about seemingly similar situations, because the somatic markers that form our body memory allow us to evaluate future related situations in fractions of a second.
Read more about Somatic Markers
A decision made freely looks different, because the learned emotions associated with an event belong to the person we used to be, and not the one we are today.
Many events would be evaluated differently by ourselves as the human beings we are today. Our decisions would look different if we could make the full use of all our experiences, insights and abilities.
With the help of the songs of our lives, we look into our souls
The songs that move us create a direct connection to our body memory. While we are listening to such songs, they represent the moment at which we can take advantage of the special opportunity to simultaneously conduct an EMDR self-coaching session with the help of the EMDR glasses REMSTIM 3000.
We usually integrate memories such as joy, strength, confidence and trust (or whatever the situation at that time offered us in terms of positive learning effects) into our brains anew. The full potential of such positive effects will be applicable for us now and in the future.
Often, we will find that the song will not carry us away in the same way, and with the same intensity, afterwards. The once-strong emotions will now be weakened, or even gone. This may be a less pleasing effect for some. But in the end, it’s a small price that we should be willing to pay to make full use of our resources. Our resources are shaped (among other things) by lived situations, which we have stored as complete and structured experiences.
We will be happy to pay the price of forgetting when we can finally process a painful experience and no longer have to remember the accompanying physical sensations.
Think of the initial question, and remember your first love. Which song accompanied you when your first true love ended?
Maybe this sad event is still “in your bones”. It may have been superficially forgotten, but was it also completely processed? Should the song of that time make us melancholy and awaken sensations somewhere in our bodies, the memory is still emotionally alive. Let’s take a chance on successful EMDR intervention.
With these songs, the door for EMDR self-coaching opens all by itself
Hardly anything could be easier: we listen to the song, which accompanied our separation at that time, it still awakens the same specific somatic marker today, and at the same time we perform an application with the EMDR glasses. Generally, the bodily sensation will fade. The former parting receives a mostly-complete integration in our neuronal pathways, and is emotionally re-evaluated.
In this way, we are able to let formerly stressful situations appear in a new light. From now on, these will be less frightening and will no longer trigger an “unpleasant” feeling. We thus expand our abilities, as our valuable experiences will be fully available to us in the future.
It does not, however, have to be heartache. Make regular use of the power of music and every song that sends you on an emotional journey. Combine the sound experience with a self-coaching session: make yourself comfortable in an armchair and simply put on the REMSTIM 3000 while listening to music. Whenever you hear a song that takes you away with it, start the 6 steps:
- Which topic do you associate the song with? (more)
- Which emotions are noticeable? (more)
- Where in your body do you feel a sensation? (Or do you feel nothing at all?) (more)
- Now, start an application of the REMSTIM 3000 and repeat step 4 until the best possible result is achieved. (more)
- Search for residual sensations while listening to the song and thinking about your topic. (more)
- Think about the topic, and notice the first positive thought, the one which you now will anchor with the REMSTIM 3000. (more)
You will be surprised at how many unused experiences lie dormant in us, experiences and the emotions that go with them, which we associate with numerous songs. These songs are therefore a key to our emotions. So much is still in us, waiting to unfold its full potential.